


Emotion Side A

by imsorrycantrelate



Series: Emotion [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, and hella gay, dirkjohn, i guess, slowburn, yes all the kids are trans thank you for your time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-19 15:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsorrycantrelate/pseuds/imsorrycantrelate
Summary: It's been years since the end of the game. Rose and Dave are worried about John, who rarely leaves his home. They also worry for Dirk. Jake helps them in their plan to get them both out of their homes, even if Jake knows Dirk would rather stay at home and listen to Emotion by Carly Rae Jepsen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is all just self projecting nonsense so i hope you like it

It had been years since the end of the game and everyone was starting to feel it. Some felt it positively, people like Jade who was glad to be with her friends again, or all the alien/human couples that had appeared. Others were still recuperating, even years later. Can Town was thriving, Jane had started her business, everything was good. A standstill.  
Dave knocked on the door of Rose’s home. “Hey, it’s been a while.” His southern twang still had not gone away, in fact, it almost seem enhanced.  
“Does a week really count as ‘a while’? How are you and Karkat doing?” she smirked as she led him inside.  
Dave smiled slightly, trying to hide it, as he scratched the back of his neck, “Good. How about you and Kanaya?” His voice was slightly shaky. “Where is she?”  
“She’s taking care of the grubs, I normally would join her, but we had an appointment.” Rose showed him over to some elegant furniture for him to sit at. He sat down, the sofa squeaking. He guessed Roxy had summoned all this furniture, because it looked nothing like any furniture the citizens of Can Town could make. He stared into a crystal ball on a wizard stand next to him as Rose brought over a teapot. There were two teacups on the coffee table in front of them, one was decorated with purple roses and the other was an elegant red with black vines. There was a case of teacups near them, one for everyone they knew. Some of them were starting to get dusty.  
Rose handed Dave his tea bag, “Passion Tea, correct?” she asked as if he didn’t drink the same thing every time.  
“It takes time to appreciate Earl Grey,” he said as he took it and Rose put her Earl Grey tea bag into her cup.  
“And here I thought you were the Knight of Time,” she said. “So what did you want to speak about in person?” She seemed slightly concerned.  
“It’s not about me. Or Karkat for once. It’s about everyone else. Is everyone else doing okay?”  
“Well, Jane, Roxy and Calliope are doing fine, you would know from our tea parties. Jade seems happier than ever, she finally has her friends with her. Have you heard from Jo-” She could tell from his somber face that he had not heard from John.  
“That was one of the main things I wanted to ask about. I wanted to know if you heard from him. Or anyone.” She looked down and subtlety shook her head no. “What about Dirk?”  
“You haven’t heard from Dirk?” she asked, perplexed. “Have you asked Jake?”  
“Well, I’ve tried, Jake says he’s fine but I don’t know if I believe him. He says he’s still adjusting. I’m worried about him though.”  
“Yes, we all love Jake but I’m not sure if he would be the one to tell if anything is wrong.” She sighed, “Not that I can usually tell either, but I feel like Dirk might need some help. Is Jake doing alright?”  
“He actually answers my texts, so I guess. Though I don’t have a fucking clue what the fuck he’s saying. I think he’s making up words and I can’t tell from his accent, which I’m fairly sure is fake.”  
“Sometimes I think that about you,” she smiled, trying to break the tension.  
“Hey, my accent is barely noticeable,” he responded, smiling back for a second. Both of their smiles fell. Rose took her teacup and lifted it to her mouth, letting the fumes softly glaze over her face. Dave took his, thinking that maybe it was cold enough to drink, and burned the end of his tongue. He smacked his tongue and tried to pull it off as if he didn’t, but Rose had seen him burn his tongue enough times to know he had. She held back her laughter. Then they had a few seconds of silence.  
“So what do you think we should do about it, if anything?” asked Rose.  
Dave leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, then back down at the floor. He shuffled a bit. He didn’t really have an answer. “I’m not sure, just worried about them.”  
Rose looked off pensively, taking a gentle sip of tea. The clacking of the glass and their breathing was the only noise in the room. Dave drunk some tea, not burning himself. He didn’t like it that much, but the calming warmth of the water was welcoming for once. “How many times have Dirk and John talked? If they are going through similar things, maybe they could help each other.”  
“I’m sure they…oh. I don’t think they’ve ever talked to each other directly. I introduced them, well once, I think, they seemed to get along. They didn’t really talk to each other though. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try.”  
“Jake enjoys movies right? Maybe John, him and Dirk can all spend some time together?”  
“I guess that could help. Not sure if Dirk would go along with it, but it’s something.”  
“I wish we could be of more help, but I don’t want to meddle into things or overthink the situation, like I usually do.”  
“I don’t want to think too much of it either, I just care about them. My best bro John has been AWOL and we’re sending a search party to find that fucking idiot wherever he is in his own fucking mind.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jake pulled on Dirk’s shirt, trying to move him. “Come on, chum, you would not like to be late would you?” Dirk was working on some robot project, Jake couldn’t count them all. They were all torn apart and all over the place. Jake was sort of relieved to have a chance to be away from all the torn up pieces of robots and puppets...so many puppets...but he couldn’t get Dirk to move away from his work.   
“This is important. I have to get it done,” he said with a southern twang even more obvious than Dave’s, as he wiped the sweat off his brow from the sickly heat of the machinery. The whole room was ten degrees hotter than outside, Jake guessed that was how he liked it. Jake didn’t mind, as he was used to the humidity.   
“What a bunch of poppycock! You say that every time you make anything, no matter when I ask you.” He put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot.   
“Have you thought, that just maybe, it was true every single time?”   
“I’ve been attempting to get you to leave this room for weeks, and for once you have no excuse not to follow along with our plans-”   
“Yours. I never agreed to this.”   
“You only shrugged when I asked you about it, so I took some creative liberty in assuming that was a yes. Please Dirk. This place is a pigpen and you need some fresh air.”   
“I finally get some headway on this project and now I have to take a break from it,” he sighed as he dropped his wrench to the ground. He grabbed some clothes and stepped out of the room. Jake was glad to see him out of his room, but confused on what he was doing.   
“Where are you going perchance?”   
“I just need to shower real quick.”   
“Dirk, normally under these circumstances I would say that was a good idea, but well...you take your time in the shower and we have a place to be.”   
“I’ll just be quick.” He went towards the bathroom.   
“No, Dirk, we have a time to be, Dirk, Dirk!” He shouted as Dirk shut the door behind him.   
Jake kicked the floor angrily and crossed his arms. He was still glad Dirk had agreed to come at all. Jake waited for him, looking at his watch. Five minutes. He looked out the window at the landscape of the Consort Kingdom. Ten minutes. He texted John that they’d be late. Twenty minutes. Jake went outside to do some target practicing. Thirty minutes. Jake texted John about what movies they should watch again and hung out with Tavros. Two hours. Jake had fallen asleep outside. Three hours. Jake was awake and raring to go. Dirk finally exited out of the bathroom, wearing his usual garb of a t-shirt and pants that folded over themselves. His glasses were foggy.   
“So you finally decided you wanted to go then?”   
“We ran out of warm water. I should fix that so it doesn’t happen again.”   
“Later. John says he’s waiting for us.”   
“Sheesh, hold your horses man. Need to throw this in the laundry,” he threw his clothes into his room in a messy pile of other unwashed, identical clothes.   
“Well now you’ve run out of excuses to not go-”   
“I should let my hair dry shouldn’t I?”   
“Dirk please, for the love of everything, just blow it with a hairdryer you, you fuckwad. I can no longer handle this hogwash.”   
“Oh, I didn’t realize I was getting on your nerves. Sorry,” he shrugged, seeming genuine. Jake was still seething.   
“I am not leaving without you taking at least one step out of this forsaken home.”   
Dirk took a step outside and then retreated. “There I did it.” He saw Jake wasn’t amused and Dirk’s shoulders slumped. “Fine, we can head out now.”   
Jake breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank fuck. It’s already night time.” They floated over and Jake could finally text John they were coming over.   
“Time’s fake Jake.” They went a while longer in silence. Jake was admiring the landscape, while Dirk didn’t have the inclination to say anything. He forced himself to say something out of curiousity, “What are we watching anyway?”   
“Have you heard of the National Treasure movies? The ones that star actor Nicolas Cage? We decided on those. And you can’t complain, because you didn’t help us.”   
Dirk took in a breath of air and then kept his mouth shut. They neared John’s home and then knocked on the door. They waited a couple of minutes as they heard John’s loud footsteps. They were sure they heard him fall over at least once. He opened the door and smiled down at them, “Uh, hey guys.” Dirk had forgotten how tall John was as he had to look up at him. He was wearing his god tier outfit as usual and more worn out than the last time Dirk had seen him.  
He let them into the house and showed them to the couch. Jake and Dirk sat on either side of it. “So you guys ready for four or so hours of adventure about a place and culture that doesn’t even exist anymore, haha, how about that?” He smiled and chuckled, but it sounded slightly forced. “You’ve got the copies?”   
Jake took out National Treasure 1 and 2 from the inside of his coat. “Yes. And if Dirk can handle three hours of standing in the shower without even washing his hair, then I think we will be fine.” He gave it to John to play the DVD.   
“Wait, you were showering that entire time? I thought you guys had gone somewhere else.” He waited for Dirk to respond. He didn’t. “Dude?”   
He snapped out of it, “No, yeah, I was showering that whole time. Is that, is that not normal?”   
“You’re joking right?” asked John. Jake shook his head. John didn’t know what to say. “I mean, I guess I’m not the best person to ask, but I don’t think so.” He seemed to laugh genuinely. “Is there any water even left for the consorts?”   
Dirk grumbled, “I’m working on it.”   
“What? You take up all the water?” He chuckled some more.   
“Look asshole, I’m here to watch National Treasure, you should be glad I’m here at all, no need to make fun of my, fun of my-”   
“Shower addiction?” mumbled Jake.   
“Yeah, what do you do in there that takes three fucking hours?”   
“Shut the FUCK up and put on the movie dipshits.”   
“I bet he sings karaoke,” Jake continued teasing.   
John put the movie on and sat on the couch, making the other two shift as he sat in the middle. He towered over them. He stretched out his arms behind them. Dirk tried to shift over to the side as much he could but there was still barely enough room between him and John. “You sing Britney Spears in there?”   
“What? No, even if she is a talented artist.”   
“Carly Rae Jepsen,” coughed Jake. John turned to him in confusion. “He listens and sings to Carly Rae Jepsen. I bet he was trying to listen to all her albums in the shower today and that’s what took him so long.”   
“I only have the album Emotion for research purposes!”   
“No need to get defensive, it’s a fine album.” He whispered to John, “sometimes I hear him crying to it.”   
“Jake what the fuck-” said Dirk before John put a finger in front of their lips and shushed them.   
“It’s starting.” John and Jake both shut up even though Dirk had more to say. Fifteen minutes in and Dirk was already calling bullshit and was ready to move on. But he saw how excited John seemed to watch the movie and decided to shut up. He knew Jake was excited to watch it, even though he had seen it a million times. Dirk cleared away from the movie screening room in fear Avatar or National Treasure would be playing on a screen where he could clearly see Nicolas Cage’s pores. Even though from what he heard about John, he would have been fine with that.   
They both laughed at the jokes and tensed up at the action sequences. Dirk groaned in disbelief when Nicolas Cage got a girlfriend, “Glad to know movie makers think women are so straight that they’d fall for Nicolas Cage after being kidnapped by him.”   
“Something wrong with Nicolas Cage, Dirk?” asked John. Dirk was leaning his head on the back of the couch, digging his body into it, with his legs poking far out as he tried to escape the movie. “You don’t seem to be having fun.”   
“I’m fine, just need a glass of water,” said Dirk as he got up.   
“Oh, I can get it for you,” John said almost forcefully.   
“No, it’s fine, you seem to be enjoying yourself. Continue on.” He got up and looked for the kitchen. Jake shrugged and kept on watching the movie. John looked to the floor then tried to focus on the movie.   
Dirk managed to go in the right direction and end up in the right room. He stepped in and felt granules of sugar rub up against the sole of his shoe. There were unwashed bowls out, a load of them in the sink, and a lot of the drawers and shelves were half opened. He looked for a glass in one of the drawers. He found several torn apart Betty Crocker baking mixes, some pranks he had not been expecting so now he was covered in confetti and water, and college survival food. The closest thing he found to be a clean water container were ramen bowls. He went to the filled sink and grabbed a cup and washed it, then filled it with water. He swallowed it down, taking in the area. He rubbed off the confetti and walked out of the kitchen, shuffling the sugar off the bottom of his shoe and dusting the flour.   
“Did I miss anything?” he asked, not really caring.   
“Yes? There’s a lot to follow,” John said almost non-jokingly. He caught Dirk up with the movie, and Dirk pretended to listen as he tried to forget about his journey in the kitchen. Dirk didn’t make any more comments about the movie. They finally got through it.   
“See, they weren’t so bad were they Dirk?” asked Jake, “You normally leave fifteen minutes into the first one.”   
Dirk didn’t want to admit he hadn’t left early was because he didn’t want to disappoint John. “Guess the stupidity didn’t hit me as hard this time. Maybe that 3 hour shower dulled my brain this time.” Dirk was thankful that they both laughed. “Man, what time is it?”   
“Time isn’t real Dirk,” Jake repeated from earlier, as he checked his watch, “it’s 3 in the morning.”   
“Wow, time sure does fly when you’re having fun,” said John as he got up. It was nice seeing you guys today, thanks for coming over.” He led them back outside.   
“Yeah, sure was,” said Jake as he took back his DVDs.   
Dirk nodded his head, “Yeah…” He shifted uncomfortably. “See you later, dude,” he did a bro nod and John did it back before laughing. Dirk smiled slightly, to Jake’s surprise. They waved goodbye and left.   
It was silent as they floated back to the Consort Kingdom, the sky splattered in stars. Neither of them looked at each other until they were halfway to their home. “So...Dirk...my chum...my pal.”   
“Jake you’re making this worse than it needs to be, what do you have to say?”   
“I was just thinking, that well, you seemed to suffer a little less through the National Treasure Movies today, and I’m glad you came with me to cheer up our buddy John, and well, he doesn’t seem to be as chipper as he used to be, and well…”  
“Have you been picking up voice lessons from Tavros?”   
“Well, Dirk, that was another thing I was going to mention, well, mm,” Jake looked frustrated.   
“Sorry, sorry,” Dirk said, short of breath, “Just tell me.”   
“You should spend some more time out of the house. And I was thinking, since I am the one who primarily spends time with Tavros, and everyone else is busy with their significant others, I think you should get out of the house and cheer up John, he seems,” he took in a breath, “he seems lonely.”   
Dirk breathed out, “You’re right but, is there really anything I can do? I mean, I’ve got my own shit, and the shit I need to finish and-”   
Jake groaned, “Dirk, please, just, just try.” They got back to the kingdom. Dirk sighed and took some time to think about it. He tried to sleep, but found he couldn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

A couple of days later, John decided to check his messages for once. He rolled over and grabbed his phone off his bedside table. He wondered if he should text back some of his friends to say he was okay, then saw Dirk of all people, had messaged him. He sat up in his bed and took a swig out of the bottle he was holding. He rubbed his eye and adjusted his glasses back into place. All Dirk had said was, “Hey.”   
“Hey. What’s up?”   
He didn’t respond. John went back into his sheets and looked out the window. He wondered how long he had been asleep. He hoped not too long. He put a hand under his shirt, not liking the way the sweat between his binder and chest made him feel. He got up for once, to take it off. He scratched off the dried tears on the side of his face. He got up to wash the binder, a headache coursing through him. He felt nauseous and unbalanced as he got out of bed and put a hand to the window. He opened the blinds, squinting at the sunlit scenery.   
He walked out of his room and dragged himself up the stairs, his phone and binder in hand. He got to the room and paused, forgetting where the light switch was. He found it and then turned to the mirror. He tried to smile, but it fell back down. He turned on the sink and started washing the binder as much as he could. He stared down the abyss of the sink, looking back at his reflection, and watching the ripples. He left the water running for far too long.   
He snapped out of it and put his binder to the side. He took off his glasses and grabbed a hand towel. He wetted it and threw it onto his face. He let the water run down into his neck and under his shirt as he took a deep breath. He finished washing the dried tears and grime off his face and turned off the water. He almost forgot to grab the binder as he walked back to his room. And then the phone. No new messages. Wait.   
He stopped halfway down the stairs. Dirk had responded, “Nothing much, just finished the project I was working on.”   
“What is it?” he typed up the response quickly but waited a second to send it.   
“A robot horse. Multiple. Many.”   
John looked off to the side as he walked back to his room. “A horse?”   
“Yes. I’m giving them to the can town people sometime, the consorts seem to really like them. You should check them out.”   
He got into his room and closed the blinds and sat on his bed. “I don’t know, I don’t really like horses.”   
“Unforgivable and an utter mistake, but you should check them out anyway. They’re cool. You don’t have to of course.”   
John looked to his binder and then to the door. “In a bit. Just need to rest for a while.” He tried to sleep again, but couldn’t. His brain didn’t feel empty this time, instead it was dashing off all over the place. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he over thought everything. He stared up at the ceiling, then put on some music. It was just a mish-mash of pop music. He put his phone on his stomach and kept on staring up. He felt the music on his chest and his breathing regulated. After listening to the playlist at least three times, he looked at his phone.   
“Okay, see you sometime then.” Dirk had responded several hours ago.   
John responded, “I can come over now, if that’s cool.” He looked out the window. It was night. Oh well. At least he didn’t have to worry about running into anyone.   
Thirty minutes later, Dirk texted, “Sure.” John got up and put his binder back on and headed out of his home. The air was brisk. The wind played with his hair and made his hood spiral in the air. He shivered and made the wind go around him. He didn’t really know where he was going, but he knew he’d get there sometime. He was sure he was classified as an Earth C cryptid by the time he finished floating through the sky in search of the kingdom. He wasn’t sure whether to knock or not, but Dirk solved that problem by opening the door for him.   
“Jake’s asleep like a dumbass so I thought it best not to wake him,” said Dirk, who had clearly been waiting by the door.   
John felt bad for coming over so late. “Sorry, I got lost, and lost track of time.” He looked down, then smiled for a second before looking down again.   
“Shut up idiot, we've got places to be,” Dirk said while smirking. He dragged John over to where all his robotic horses were lined up outside.   
He looked them over, “Wow, they uh, sure are something.” He jumped back a little bit when the robotic horse acted like a real one and tried to nudge him. “Why did you make them again?”   
He shrugged. “I like horses. Villagers like horses. Are you trying to judge me right now?”   
John laughed nervously, “No, no, just, wondering why you didn’t make something, I don’t know, cool, I guess?”   
He adjusted his glasses. “Horses are cool.”   
John chuckled, “I guess so, but like, you could make, like, shit from anime or something?”   
Dirk looked slightly offended, “Oh, so you like anime, bitch boy? What, you think I haven’t made anything from anime bitch? You think I don’t have multiple models of Gurren Lagann Mechs you bitchfuck? See these glasses bitchtits? You think I don’t have real, life-sized Gundam in my home, right now?”   
“Can I see them then?” He seemed excited, as he believed him.   
“Oh, uh, I was joking about that last one. Alchemizing those materials would take some work...but I do have one failed attempt at a me sized Gurren Lagann Mech. Doesn’t actually work sadly, I guess spirit power doesn’t work in this world.”   
“Can I still see it?” he asked as he stroked the metal horse that wouldn’t stop bothering him.   
“After I feed these metal horses some metal carrots.” He threw the horses some junk metal that they started chewing on.   
“How do you get carrots to be part of a music genre?” asked John, grinning.   
Dirk put a finger to his lips, “Any more bad jokes and you’ll scare off the horses.”   
John inwardly laughed, closing his eyes and smiling. Dirk couldn’t help but smile, seeing that John was acting like his old self, or he thought he was. From what he’d heard.   
They walked into the house and Dirk made sure to be quiet as they passed a sleeping Jake on a couch, then they found themselves in a room full to the brim with random shit, like swords and figurines and puppets. There was an entire shelf of records and DVD’s. Even some VHS. “This is the stuff that didn’t fit into my room,” explained Dirk. “Jake’s is full of guns and posters. Both of them.” He went over to a metal..thing, that looked like it was supposed to be a robot with a face. “Sort of gave up halfway through. I’ve been working on it for years, but it just wouldn’t work,” he shrugged and stepped back so John could see it.   
John’s eyes lit up when seeing all the miscellaneous DVD’s and the robot. He felt it as if to test if what he was seeing was real. “You think I could fit?” he asked Dirk as he pointed at the seat in the middle of the robot. Dirk shrugged. John jumped into the seat and started playing with all buttons and levers. “You alchemized all this shit?” he asked in disbelief. “And made this?”   
Dirk shrugged. “Yeah, not that impressive. I didn’t even finish it.”   
“What are you talking about? It’s awesome. Dude, you could totally make this actually fucking work. I believe in you. Like, it be fucking amazing.”  
“I don’t know if I have the spirit power to power something like this,” Dirk said, chuckling slightly.   
John was laughing genuinely for once, “Well,” he stopped talking to laugh some more, “All you gotta do is believe-”  
“No. Stop. You don’t have the right.”   
“-in the me-” His body was shaking from laughter.  
“No. No. You can’t disrespect Kamina like this.”  
“-that believes in you.” He kept on laughing as he looked up at Dirk.   
“Oh, oh look what you’ve done. You fucking idiot how dare you disrespect Kamina like this, oh fuck.” He put a hand on his forehead and tilted his head back to add to the act. “I can’t even begin to wonder how you thought that was okay, at all.”   
John was still shaking from laughing, a hand in front of his face and the other around his stomach. He couldn’t stop laughing.   
“You’re not that much of a comedy genius-” Dirk said, trying to get him to calm down. Then John snort laughed and caught Dirk off guard. It caught John off guard too. He covered his face and tried to stop laughing, but continued anyway. He snorted again. Dirk rubbed his face and looked away, his smile perking up. “Come on, fuckwad, you’re gonna make me laugh, and you’re not gonna want to hear that.” He was laughing quietly, which interrupted his words, “You’re going to wake Jake up with that cute laugh of yours.” He hadn’t meant to say cute, but he didn’t really notice saying it.   
John looked up at him and moved his hand away from his mouth. “Sorry, sorry.” John stopped laughing gradually and got out of the mech model. He looked up at the DVD collection. “Wow, you sure have a lot of anime. And manga too.”   
“You pronounce manga like a dipshit. It’s manga. Not main ga.”   
John grabbed a manga from off the shelf and opened it from the left cover. Dirk wanted to die. He shut it closed and turned the book. “Oh, my,” he took a second to pronounce it correctly, “manga at home is different.”   
“I think they call those comic books, or graphic novels, or not manga.”   
“Why do they print it like this anyway, like-”   
“Fucking, I can’t believe you John just fucking, do you want to take my manga? What are you even reading?” It was Naruto.   
“Earth got destroyed before the anime ended. Can I borrow like, all of these?” He gestured to all the Naruto Dirk had. It took up multiple shelves.  
“Sure, you can borrow them one at a time. Anything else? I didn’t know this was Blockbuster for manga.”   
“I think they call that a library.”   
“Shut the fuck up.”   
John smiled and laughed again. “Not this shit again,” Dirk said, looking away but then glancing back. John put both of his arms around his stomach.   
“I’m laughing too much, it hurts. Fuck. My face hurts.” He wiped away a tear from the side of his eye and wiped it on his shirt.   
“It’s what you get dipshit, for laughing at your own stupid jokes.” It didn’t stop John from laughing. It actually encouraged it. He finally stopped laughing, but was still smiling as he looked at Dirk. Dirk quickly turned his head to the shelf. “Uh, want to watch anime?”   
“Sure.” John went to where Dirk was standing as Dirk shuffled away. John looked up at the anime. “You know, I actually never finished Gurren Lagann.”   
Dirk looked at him with disbelief. “You what?”  
“I never finished it. I stopped after, you know, he died. It uh, made me upset.”   
“Dude! That’s only like 7 episodes in.”   
“So? Does it get any better?”   
“If you’re looking for muscly men wearing shades, or just some mindless action and inspiring bullshit, it’s the right place.” He took it off the shelf. “We’re finishing it.”   
“All of it? That's like, 20 episodes?!”   
“And, so? We don’t need sleep. We’ve got nothing better to do. I usually would, but I guess the only other thing I have to do is fixing up that model. Come on we can...oh. Jake is sleeping on the couch. I guess we could watch on my laptop,” Dirk chewed on his nails.   
“Alright, we could watch one or two episodes,” said John as he followed Dirk to his room. They got inside and John realized why Dirk had hesitated to go into his room. It was even more of a fucking mess than the storage room. John tried not to trip on the pile of tank tops, hats and puppets. He caught a glimpse of what John recognized to be a binder. He glanced away and stood next to Dirk’s laptop as Dirk quickly shut off his TV.  
“Wait, why don’t we just use that?” asked John.   
Dirk slowly put down the remote. “No DVD player. It’s just for research.” He moved back to his bed and knocked all the shit off. He sat on it and put in the DVD. He motioned for John to sit next to him. John seemed surprise and sat next to him, trying to give him as much room as possible. Even so, they still slightly pushed into each other. “You’re not like, uncomfortable right like-”   
“No, no, dude. What? I’m fine. You’re fine, right?” Dirk nodded as he leaned against the wall. They both looked away from each other with their faces flushed. The DVD started and Dirk had to put it onto the last episode John had seen.   
“If you make me watch Kamina die again, I swear.”   
“I’m not that cruel. The show practically restarts soon anyway.” They watched in silence for a while, getting more comfortable. About ten episodes in, Dirk cracked his neck. He got up and went towards the bathroom, John guessed, without saying anything. He came back, climbing over John. He kept on rubbing the back of his neck.   
John looked to the side, “You know if your neck hurts maybe we should stop, or go somewhere else or,” his face heated up a little, “you could lean on me.”   
“Last one sounds good, I’m invested into this shit. We’re finishing it.” Before John could do anything about it, Dirk was leaning on him. Neither of them knew how to act. They both uncomfortably stayed in the same position for about an episode or two, not wanting to disrupt the other. Then John shifted his weight and took his arm from underneath Dirk and put it around him. Dirk hoped his glasses were enough to hide his blushing. Dirk leaned more into John, and this time they were comfortable. They finished the series, and it was almost morning by the time they were done.   
“Thanks for inviting me over,” said John as he grabbed his Naruto manga.   
“No problem,” taking off his shades to rub his eyes. “Make sure to return that.”   
“I have to if I want the next one,” chuckled John. Dirk wondered how long it would take for John to come back. He hoped not too long. 

A few days later, John came back with the manga. He still chose to come back at night. “Less people out, don’t have to worry about...talking to them...right?” Dirk nodded, knowing the feeling. John put the manga back and took the next one.   
Dirk leaned on the wall and took in a deep breath, “Want to watch Evangelion?”   
John nodded. Dirk took it off the wall, and they watched it until the morning came. John went back home, saying he needed to do things, and took the book. A day, or night, later, he came back with the manga. They kept on watching Evangelion. They continued the routine over and over, Jake not getting one glimpse of John. When they ran out of Evangelion, Dirk recommended Cowboy Bebop. They started to whisper and talk to each other more as they watched everything, but still had plenty times of silence. Except every time, the silence was less somber. Then it slowly devolved until they were watching the muppets and shitpost videos from the 2000’s.   
One of the vines made John laugh so hard it woke Jake up. He shot up from the floor he had slept on instead of the bed that was near him, and stepped out of his room. He passed by the room, pretending he was getting water, and the door was wide open. He looked inside and saw John holding onto his sides and guffawing, Dirk trying to calm him down. John leaned back, then forward, then Dirk gave John a slight hug as he laughed over Dirk’s shoulder. Dirk laughed silently, smiling. Jake smiled to himself and moved just as Dirk looked over to the open door.


	4. Chapter 4

One day, they were all invited to a tea party with Rose, but of course, Dirk and John didn’t go. Jake went for them, and was glad to tell them how the two were doing. Only Rose, Kanaya, Dave, Karkat and Jade had shown. “I think they’ve been spending more time together than I initially thought. It turns out they’ve been hanging out in the middle of the night. And Dirk seems more chipper than usual.”   
“Cool man, I’m glad we were able to help them. What is it Rose?” He saw her smirking.   
“Well, they’ve been meeting up in the middle of the night, they only seem to see each other,” she sipped her Earl Grey. “I’m just saying, that maybe, they really are closer friends than we thought.” Rose turned to Kanaya and raised her eyebrows. Kanaya immediately understood what she meant. Jade saw their looks and laughed.   
“You can’t be serious Rose. John wouldn’t...right?”  
Dave took a second. Karkat clashed his tea cup back onto his plate. “Oh, will you shut the fuck up? John clearly told me, ME, that he was, and I quote, “not a homosexual”, therefore, your stupid little fucking theory, is most likely, how do I put this, false?”   
“Sometimes we say things we don’t mean Karkat. Or don’t know any better. Dave thought he was straight, and we all know how that went.”   
Two and two got put together in Dave’s mind. “Rose, what are you implying?”   
Kanaya snickered, “Took you a while. I think she is implying that the two might become mate-”  
“No. John isn’t like that,” Dave immediately cut her off.   
“You mean John isn’t, how do you put it, a homosexual?” said Karkat.   
“No! I mean he wouldn’t right? Right? C’mon guys, that’s not funny. That’s my brother. Somewhat. Like that’s just, no? Right?” He looked to them for support.   
None of them looked him in the eye. Rose stirred her tea as she looked into it. “John isn’t who we knew Dave. We lost John for three years, Dave. Who knows how he changed, or what we never knew him as. After the game ended, he still acted closed off, like a stranger. I still feel bad...you know...none of us took the time to get to know him again.” She leaned onto Kanaya, who held her.   
The rest of them looked into their cups of tea. Jade put her elbows on her legs and leaned her face onto her hands. Dave stirred his cold tea with his finger. “We still care about him though, so,” Dave took in a breath, “whatever Dirk is doing to get him to be an old self we never knew, I guess he should keep it up. Especially if it helps Dirk too. I know he didn’t get to know that many people in his life.” They stayed silent.   
“Even if they are matesprites?” asked Karkat.   
Dave took in a deep breath and grit his teeth, “No need to mention it Karkat.”   
“Ugh. What if they’re fuck-”   
“No need to mention it Karkat!”


	5. Chapter 5

Dirk and John kept on hanging out more, sometimes during the day. They watched everything they could find on Dirk’s shelf. John still had to finish his Naruto manga, but he showed up before he finished it. John saw Dirk’s progress on his robot projects and told him what was cool and what wasn’t. Jake said hello to them every once in a while, noticing how they were doing. John smiled more naturally and Dirk smiled more in general. He always wondered if they were truly, just friends, but knew not to pry. Weeks passed by as they kept on hanging out.   
On one of the occasions, Dave decided to pass on by. He said hi to Jake, then hugged his brother hello. “How’s it been?” he asked him. Dirk shrugged. Dave awkwardly said, “Yeah,” and shrugged too. He put his hand out for a high five from John. He hit his hand softly. “C’mon dude, harder than that.” John used enough force for Dave to have to shake his hand and rub off the sting. “Yeah, like that. How are you man?” John shrugged. Dave chuckled and said, “Yeah,” while shrugging. “What are you guys working on?”   
“The robot from Gurren Lagann,” said John.   
“You’re working on the fucking what?”   
Dirk showed him over to the robot they had taken out to work on. “I’m finishing it. For fun. No real purpose, it’s kind of stupid to be honest.”   
“I’m helping, sort of. I just hand him things and look at the cool blueprints. And alchemize materials on the occasion.” John floated above the head robot, then tucked his knees in and turned upside down to look at Dave.   
“I mean...fucking cool. It looks just like it. You going to make the second half too?”   
“Once we finish this one, yes. We have an eternity after all,” said Dirk. He put a hand on the creation he was proud of. John floated down into the seat and started pushing random buttons. “What are you doing?”  
“Making sure they aren’t sticky. Scientific business.”   
“Maybe some dudes just want to push buttons, thought of that Dirk?” joked Dave.   
“He’s pushing my buttons,” said Dirk as he took a sip of coffee.   
Dave coughed. “So anything else you’ve been up to?”   
“Anime.” They both said. “And like the muppets,” added John.   
“Makes sense.” Dave cleared his throat again. “So just hanging out as friends do?”   
John nodded, confused on what Dave was getting at, while Dirk saw through Dave. “Is there any reason why you decided to come here other than to talk to us?”   
“What? No? I just wanted to talk to my best bud,” he sniggered and softly punched John on the shoulder, “And my bro,” he put a hand on Dirk’s arm. “And uh, there’s another party for us all to hang for the ones who missed it last time. Going to play some videogames, watch some movies, Jane is baking, you can’t miss that.”   
“I don’t really like baked goods, but thanks for inviting us,” said John. Dave could tell he didn’t want to go.   
Dirk put a hand on John’s shoulder, “We’ll think about it. Can I talk to you for a second?” He lifted his eyebrow at Dave. He pulled him aside. He whispered, “There’s nothing going on between us okay? He’s straight anyway, isn’t he?” Dirk breathed out both a sigh of relief and a depressed sigh.   
“I don’t know man, you tell me.” Dave shrugged with his whole body. Dirk glared at him. Dave backed away, “From what I know. Karkat is sure about it. I was just, just making sure.” He gave him another hug, “Bye bro. Hey ya, John, see you soon okay? We got to talk sometime soon, alright? Answer my texts? Love ya bro.” He said the last one to both of them, then ran off.   
“What was that about?” asked John.   
“Making sure we weren’t dating,” Dirk put bluntly.   
“Woah, what?” John asked in complete bewilderment. “Why would he think that?”   
Dirk shifted his eyes away as he leaned on the mech. He crossed his arms and then adjusted his glasses. “I don’t know. In Karkat words, you aren’t a homosexual, correct?”   
John looked away from him and scratched the back of his neck. “I did say that.” There was silence. “Guess you heard about that a while ago. Is that why, is that why you didn’t talk to me all those years? Cause of the way I said those things? ” He blinked slowly as he looked to the ground.   
“No, I just, I just had a lot of shit I was going through with Jake that I needed to sort out, and then apologizing to Jane and Roxy too, then meeting my brother from another universe, all that shit and more.”   
“So you just sort of...forgot.”   
“I guess...wait shit no, I mean like, ugh, uh, um. I still don’t know how to talk to people, shit, I’m not, I’m not used to it…”   
“It’s fine, Dirk. I think I’m going to head home. I’m not feeling well.” He floated up into the air and back to his home. Dirk just stood there, not sure what he should have done. He thought it over for a day. Two. Three. Four. A week. By the second week he wondered if John just wanted nothing to do with him.


	6. Chapter 6

Jake shot in the yard as Dirk worked on his robot. Dirk kept on reaching out, expecting someone to give him a wrench or a screwdriver. Jake noticed. “Don’t make the same mistakes, Dirk,” he advised him. Dirk sighed. He went into the house and grabbed the next manga John was supposed to read. He floated towards John’s home. He got there and knocked on the door. No one answered. He rung the doorbell. No one answered. He waited. He texted everyone to make sure he wasn’t spending time with them. He wasn’t. Dirk held onto the doorknob and twisted it. It wasn’t locked. He stepped inside. He expected some kind of prank like in John’s kitchen. It was silent. He stepped in and shut the door behind him. He listened for John’s steps. The house felt empty. He looked in all the bottom floors. No one. He went up the stairs. With each step, a sense of dread filled him. What was he doing? He was checking to see if John was okay, he responded to himself. He checked all the rooms, then finally got to John’s room.   
The door was open by a crack, so Dirk pushed it open. He waited it to finish squeaking before stepping into the room. He heard movement of blankets and the blasting of music from phone speakers. Dirk recognized it to be Emotion. Dirk took in a breath before pushing the door more. He turned to where he heard the noise from.   
John was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, covered with his bed sheets. His glasses were next to him, fogged up. Tears streamed down his face as he breathed heavily. He let the pool of tears form on his pillow and he still hadn’t noticed Dirk. Dirk tried to back away, wondering if he had enough time to run off. John sniffled when the music calmed down. He rolled his eyes towards the door and shot up when he saw Dirk. He tried to keep his blankets around him but then they fell elegantly around him. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just his binder. His hair was a mess and probably hadn’t been combed since the last time Dirk had seen him.   
He frantically put his glasses on and put a hand to the side of his face to hide and wipe away his tears. He rubbed his eyes and pretended to yawn. “Hey, Dirk, what are you doing here?” He snorted up a bunch of snot.   
Dirk took a second to conjure up any words. “Well...you uh,” he swallowed his words, looking to John’s bedside. The whole room was covered in bottles and other garbage. Half of the plates and cups were stuck in John’s room. “You forgot your next manga, last time you came. You’re almost done, it’d suck to stop now. Stupid to stop now.” He pushed the book onto the bedside table, then stayed still. They both wondered if Dirk would leave.   
Dirk stepped towards the door, “See you soon?” He almost left, but didn’t hear John reply. All he heard was John shift back into his bed and sniffle. Dirk grit his teeth and breathed, “Dammit,” and pushed himself back into the room. “Hey…”   
John sniffled again but kept his glasses off so he wouldn’t have to look at Dirk. “Yeah?”   
Dirk stepped towards the bed and leaned his hands onto it. “You know your friends care about you right? Dave, Rose, they were the ones who got me and Jake to force ourselves over here to bother you...Jake was the one to hit me over the head with the idea with spending more time together...and I know, well now I know...I care about you.”   
“Thanks,” John said solemnly. He rolled over onto his back and looked up at Dirk. Dirk sat on the side of the bed and continued on his spiel.   
“And I want you to know you’re not alone and I can, I’ll try my hardest to listen to what you’ve got to say. I know how it’s like to isolate myself...I was just about to do it again. I’ve been doing it for years. I’m practically the master at it. And I’m not going to let some amateur try to dethrone me.” He waited to hear John’s boisterous laugh. John chuckled a bit, but it was silent. “So if it’s not too much to ask...what’s going on?”   
John stretched his arms, then twiddled his thumbs. He sat up and motioned for Dirk to sit next to him. Dirk hesitantly did so, sure to give John some space. “Uh, well, you sort of just um, caught me at an awkward time. I was listening to Emotion and I started crying, it’s not like I know why. Sometimes you just cry…”   
“What’s wrong John?” He took off his shades so he could make eye contact with him. John hunched up his shoulders and glanced away.   
“I don’t know...shit.”   
“You got that right.” He put his and John’s glasses on the bedside. John laid his head back onto his pillow to stare at the ceiling again. Dirk did the same, keeping all his attention on John.   
“I guess, I don’t know I guess, I-” John took in a deep breath, “I haven’t been okay since...since my Dad…” his voice broke. “I don’t know if since the second time or since the first time. Jane’s dad, I guess he wasn’t actually my dad, but it was someone. And...my closest friends...they’re different now, and it’s better for them, but Dirk, I was dead for three years to them! They already grieved for me, they already accepted my death, then suddenly I appear again. And I’d rather be the one to die instead of all of them but they’re different and I don’t know if I can, if I can,” he started breathing heavily.   
“Dude, dude, it’s alright, breathe. You have plenty of time to tell me.”   
“I don’t know if I can really get to know them again...it’s already been even longer. And now, now I don’t even know what I’m doing. I saved everybody, yay, now what do I do? All my dreams as a kid are gone, I didn’t really have that many hobbies, I’ve watched my favorite movies to death. What’s the point?” He was still breathing heavy and his voice was shaking. He rubbed his eyes and held back the hot water forming behind his eyes. He wiped the tears onto his blanket.   
Dirk took a second to think. “Well...if it’s all over...maybe we’re just supposed to relax. But now you can make your own life. There’s no society, no government, no stupid ass game telling you what you have to do next. You can spend the rest of eternity doing whatever the hell you want, and not have to worry about it. Even if it’s something stupid, like building fucking robotic horses or gurren lagann models. Shit dude, it’s not like I’m actually doing anything with my life, I’m just as lost as you.”   
John seemed surprised.   
“I fucked things up in our session, fucked things up with all my friends, I barely know if they’ve forgiven me all these years later. If I deserve any of this. You deserve this for sure, an eternity to spend with your closest friends and do whatever, me? Why am I here?”   
“I don’t know, maybe it’s just as simple as you’re just here to be here. Spend time with your family, your friends,” John laughed, “look at me, giving you advice now. Just spitting back what you said.”   
“Maybe we need the same advice. I’m a fucking hypocrite.”  
John laughed again. “I guess so. But at least we know one thing.”   
“That we suck cause our one purpose is relaxing and spending time with others and that’s precisely what we avoid doing? Shit, a breakthrough there. Just like when Einstein or whoever the fuck came up with that relativity thing, yeah it’s just like that. It’s that amazing.”   
John kept on giggling. “Yeah, that.” Dirk laughed a little too. John picked up his phone, “You want to listen to-” Dirk nodded, then broke his serious expression by laughing again. John smiled and put on Emotion. They stared up at the ceiling. Dirk occasionally glanced at John, but decided to stay quiet. Neither of them wanted to leave.   
About halfway through the album, John mustered himself to say, “There’s another thing bothering me. It’s not, it’s not as bad as the other shit. I’m, I’m feeling better now. It’s just a small thing. It feels kind of awkward to talk about...with you...or anyone.”   
“Yeah?”  
“So like, I’ve always thought all my friends and I were straight right? Ever since I’ve known I was a guy, I’ve always just assumed I must like girls, and so do all the guy friends I have, and all the girls like guys. Just how it is.”   
“Yes, that was the norm back when society was in place, I’ve heard.”   
“I even used to joke about it. With Dave. And then it turns out, he’s not, he’s not,”   
“Turns out he likes men.”   
“Yes, which I would never guess, it’s just like, did I really not know him well enough to not know that? And Rose has a wife now, Roxy, Calliope and Jane are all together. And then there’s you. You don’t even blink an eye at your attraction to men. And I think about it and it just, can I really be a dude...who likes dudes?” He groaned and threw his arms up in frustration.   
“Woah, woah what? Wait, slow down. Are you sure about what you’re saying, uh, uhh,” Dirk’s face heated up.   
“Yeah, I said it. Okay? I don’t know, I don’t think I’m straight alright?” His voice shook. John’s face was also heating up.   
“What did Nic Cage bring up this question and realization? Or did you watch Ghostbusters for the millionth time and just really got into it this time?” Dirk joked.   
John’s face heated up more, “Okay, maybe I should have realized sooner, or been more aware, but just shut up I’m trying to think.” John’s face heated up more.   
“So are you, how they say, bi now, like Dave? You know cause obviously the change happened right when you changed universes, cause that’s how it works, right John?”   
“Shut the hell up, I know I’ve said stupid shit. That’s one of those things. I don’t, I don’t know if I’m bi or not, but I don’t. I don’t think so.”   
“Oh...alright…” The two laid down, staring at the ceiling again. “I’m glad you were willing to tell me. And the first, I guess. When are you thinking of telling the others? If ever?”   
John stretched his arms out behind him, “I might have to...soon.” He looked away from Dirk. John rubbed his face, making a leftover tear fall.   
“What? Why would you have to do that?” Dirk asked, his heart beating faster. I really like you started playing. Their eyes both shifted to the phone for a split second. Then they locked eyes. “I mean, not that that’s a problem. I can help. You. Tell others I mean. We could go to the fucking bullshit tea parties together, I mean, as in both of us. At the same time.” Dirk scratched his head and was trying to regulate his breathing. John was smirking. He snuck his arm around Dirk and held his shoulder. Dirk inched closer to John.   
“Thanks for listening to me.”   
“Thanks for listening to my bullshit.”   
John gently pushed Dirk closer to him and Dirk put an arm around him. John let the last of his tears fall, which fell on Dirk’s face. Dirk looked up at him and they locked eyes again. John laughed, making the tears all fall at once. John moved onto his side and pushed Dirk closer. He had one hand on Dirk’s back and the the other in his greasy hair. Then they locked lips.   
John pulled back. John’s tears had fallen onto Dirk’s, so Dirk rubbed them off. For once, he was smiling. He was breathing heavily like he’d just dodged death. “So that’s what you were getting to.” They didn’t look at each other. John took the blankets off and slid to the end of the bed. He held his head in his hands. “Dude, you okay?”


	7. Chapter 7

John got out of the bed and was touching his blushing face, pacing back and forth. He looked out the window, then at the floor. Then at the wall. Anything but then at Dirk. “Did I just, did I just do that?”  
“Yeah, you fucking did you asshole. I can’t believe you did...Glad you did though. Are you, are you okay?”  
“Sorry I was uh, just hoping that would help me prove I’m not gay...somehow. Like I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t like it and I’d be like wow guess I’m not gay, goodbye Dirk, time for me to listen to this album again. For the hundredth time. This week.”  
“Yeah, sure. You say that.” Dirk was laughing. It was actually loud enough for John to hear. John looked at him in disbelief. John laughed too and went back to lying next to Dirk. They tried to calm down, but they kept on looking at each other and laughing.  
“Stop,” whined John, covering his face, “I’m being serious,” he said, not being able to keep a straight face. They started to calm down, “I still can’t believe, I did that. I thought I never could. After all the times I thought this would go down…”  
“So you have thought about it?” Dirk was hiding his smile well enough that John didn’t know how to react other than to blush.  
“A little…” he admitted. “And you can shut up before you say anything, it’s not like that.”  
“What like how you’re not gay?”  
John seemed frustrated, but not mad. “I just never really thought it would happen. That it was just a hypothetical. I could barely believe I told you all this, I started to think I was dreaming. I think I am.” His breathing was shaking, as he started questioning whether any of that shit just happened.  
“Hey even if reality is an illusion, which I’ve discussed enough with myself, might as well enjoy what you got right? And I’m like 34% sure I’m right here right now to hear all this.” John nodded to signify he heard him. “Can I uh? Can I move closer?” John didn’t respond, then looked at Dirk and struggled to find any excuse, then John inched closer.  
“Yeah. You can.” They eached moved closer to each other, waiting a minute between each movement. “You know, it’s just like, I never imagined I could be...gay. I wanted to be just like...my dad and this is like, nothing like what he would do.”  
“I’m sure he would have been chill with it. You being what you call gay and all. I mean I didn’t know him so I can’t tell you but if you loved him and he loved you then he seems chill. That’s how it works right? I’m not getting it wrong right?”  
John giggled, “No, you got it right. I guess you’re right, I just will never get to know for sure.” Dirk saw that John’s hand shook and so did his breath, “I wish he was still here.” He took in a quick breath, seeming to stare at a memory Dirk couldn’t see. “I wish I could have helped him.”  
Memories started flashing through Dirk’s mind, ones that he had been trying to ignore and get over for years. “It’s not your fault. Dude, it’s okay. You’re right here, this is all real, and just think about how you’re feeling. Ignoring all the hypotheticals and shit, are you okay?” Dirk twitched a little too as he ignored his memories. He closed the gap between them and put his arms around him. “I’m right here, you feel me bro?”  
John slowly fell back down to reality. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it by now, are you okay?” He had noticed Dirk’s slight shaking and rapid heart beat. John rolled onto his side and put a hand in Dirk’s hair. Dirk started not to pay attention to the memories easily, more focused on John. Dirk wrapped his legs around John’s, then John wrapped his arms around Dirk, pushing them together so close they could feel each other breathing and hear each other’s heart beat.  
“I was just remembering stupid shit,” Dirk put a hand at his throat for a second, “like about all that shit during the game. Back when I fucked things up. Jake, Dave, Jane, Roxy…”  
“It’s not your fault Dirk, it’s not anyone's. From what I’ve heard, the stuff with the Jake, Jane and Roxy was just misunderstandings and bullshit that you couldn’t have stopped. It’s not like it was your job to make sure things went well. And the stuff with Dave and his bro...that was a different person.”  
“I know, we’ve talked about it. A long time ago. I’m glad he doesn’t see me in the same way. I still worry I’ll end up like that. Hurting people.”  
“You’re more than that. I don’t even think it’s possible for you to end up like that.”  
“Thanks...but what if I end up hurting you? Are you sure, are you sure you want this? I don’t want you to think you can’t back out.”  
“You’re fine with it right?” asked John. Dirk nodded. John put his chin on Dirk’s shoulder and whispered into Dirk’s ear, “Cause I think...I think I want this.” John softly kissed Dirk’s neck. Dirk quietly moaned. Neither of them were fully expecting that. John looked up at Dirk, who was biting his lip. John laughed and kissed him a couple of more times on the neck.  
Dirk gasped for air, “Stop.”  
John stopped, “Something wrong?”  
“No. No it’s just...I haven’t really done this in a while. Long while. Since Jake.”  
“I mean I haven’t done this ever, but sorry.” John moved his head away and started to pull away from Dirk.  
“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that at all. I just mean like, you’re,” he looked away, “you’re not half bad at kissing. How far, how far did you want to take this? Because I think I’m feeling it,” he pulled the collar of his shirt.  
“Oh.” John’s eyes widened. “Oh…were they that good?”  
Dirk pulled his shirt collar again, his forehead glistening. “Don’t get overconfident bitch I just haven’t touched another human being in ages. Anyone could work with those standards.”  
“Even me it seems,” John said as he nuzzled his head between Dirk’s shoulder and neck. He kissed Dirk’s neck again, so that the only sounds were their breathing and the smacking of John’s lips that tickled Dirk’s neck, and then Dirk’s small moan that wasn’t any volume above a whisper. John’s hand slid down from Dirk’s back and under his shirt.  
John looked up and their eyes locked. John was mesmerized by Dirk’s sun orange eyes, while Dirk couldn’t help but stare down John’s ocean abyss eyes. John pulled his head back onto the pillow as they kept on staring at each other, They moved closer and closer until their noses were touching.  
John gave Dirk a quick kiss on the lips, immediately giggling after. Dirk kissed him back, but John had to pull back because he was giggling too much. Then he caught Dirk off guard with another small kiss on the cheek. Dirk rubbed it off and John laughed again. “What, what’s so fucking funny?”  
“You just seem surprised is all and I’m having fun.”  
“Surprised? I’m totally ready for this shit. I’m glad you’re liking this, because I am too.”  
“So you’re ready for anything huh?”  
“Take a step back dude if you’ve got any fucking slime kinks I want to know about before I get into any of this then you should tell me right now.”  
“Shut the fuck up!”  
“No, no don’t be shamed, you can tell me bitch boy,” he said affectionately, “you don’t have to be embarrassed about it.”  
“Shut the fuck up, right now.” John put his head on Dirk’s chest, still blushing.  
“I guess you don’t have to tell me now, it’s fine. You can wait. Even if it’s inevitable.”  
“Stop,” John laughed.  
Dirk laughed a little too, “Rather I just kiss you, give you a widdle kiss? Be all cute and shit? Like this?” Dirk kissed the top of John’s head.  
“You’re not taking this seriously at all are you?”  
“I am as much as you are, man.”  
They both laughed again, then stayed silent for a little while, Dirk petting John’s hair as John kept his head in Dirk’s chest. John started petting Dirk’s hair again, and lifted his head so they could look at each other again. The music had already ended a while ago, but they hadn’t noticed. “You wanna…”  
“Want to what dude? Speak up, nerd.”  
“Can you shut up for like five seconds?”  
“Why, am I annoying you? Am I annoying, John? John just tell me, straight up, that you hate my guts and we can get along with this shit.”  
“I was going to ask if you want to make out.”  
“I mean I knew that,” said Dirk as he obviously did not know that. “It’s not like I’m the master of ruining moments or anything.”  
“I’ll get used to it,” said John as he pushed Dirk’s hair back and pushed his lips against Dirk’s. Dirk kissed him back, trying to mirror the passion John was putting into it. John pushed up Dirk’s shirt so that it all scrunched up to his chest and he could put a hand on Dirk’s back. Dirk dragged John’s bottom lip through his teeth, giving John a second to process it.  
“You okay dude?” asked Dirk.  
“Yeah...yeah…Keep on going.” They kept on kissing, even as John took Dirk’s shirt off. They kept on going until they both found themselves needing air with sweat covered backs. “I think I need a break. Sorry, I’m just not used to this,” said John.  
“Don’t worry man, neither am I.”  
John got up and went into the bathroom to dunk his head into cold water to make sure he was awake and everything that was going on was real. Dirk started breathing like he had been holding his breath for years. He stared into his glasses, glad they weren’t sentient anymore or else he’d have to be prepared for endless remarks. He felt the smooth surface of the glasses, trying to ground himself.  
Did I, did that really just happen? Dirk thought to himself. Did any of today happen? What am I getting myself into? The one guy I thought could be straight and you start to fall...Dirk cut his thoughts short. Too soon. You don’t want things to go the same way as Jake...or the others...just like how they always end up.  
John came back, his face and hair soaked. He rubbed his face and looked to Dirk awkwardly. “I need to take this off, is it alright if I?” He did a motion as if he was taking his binder off. Dirk nodded that it was okay.  
“I should probably take off mine while we’re at it, I was starting to have trouble breathing.” They took them off, not looking at each other. John grabbed his shirt from off the floor. Dirk found his shirt in the sheets of the bed and put it on inside out and backwards, but didn’t care. He thought, well I’m going to be taking it off soon enough anyway. Wait. No. Wait.  
John sat back next to him, looking exhausted. It was night. “You want to watch something?”  
“Sure man. Like what?”  
“I don’t know…I don’t have a lot of movies. I mean...that’d you’d like.”  
“We started off our... I guess you could call it a relationship by watching national treasure so I think you have a REAL high bar to keep.”  
“Shush, let me find something...I’ve seen all of these so many times…”  
“Maybe we can watch archived internet shit again. We could watch the Room.”  
“Doesn’t that have fucking in it?”  
“Yeah but it's straight fucking and it's funny. Or we could watch-” 30 minutes passed by before they settled on minecraft let’s plays. “It’s depressing you never got to play minecraft,” said Dirk. “Also that you’re a Pixels stan.”  
“I’ve never seen it Dirk I just remember Adam Sandler was funny back in the day.”  
“You remembered wrong.”  
They snuggled up close to each other again. Dirk used John’s stomach as a pillow. John couldn’t see the screen but he didn’t mind. He flattened Dirk’s hair by brushing through it. It was probably midnight.  
“What’s the time?” asked John, his eyes barely staying open.  
“4 in the morning.”  
They had barely spoken within all those hours. They’d just been...relaxed. “You think...it’s okay if I tell you something, um, intimate?” asked John nervously.  
“It’s 4 in the morning, best and worst time to say anything. Sure”  
“I think I lo-” He cut his words before he said anything he’d regret. “Sorry, it’s too soon, we’ve only known each other for some months, but I think I lo-love….”  
Dirk nodded his head. “I think I understand dude. Don’t worry,” Dirk lifted his chest and rolled over onto John and looked into his eye, a hand in his hair. “You’re good at convincing me...that I feel the same way.” They kissed one more time, then slept next to each other as the minecraft videos played in the background, lighting up their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flip the disc to play Emotion Side B.  
> (Emotion Side B will start posting soon. Hoped you liked this part :P)


End file.
